I showed up to work with monster face stickers and Sapphire Siren Lipstick. No one else was participating for Halloween. Remember that movie- Legally Blonde? The first one? Ah, Geeez, the one where she shows up to the costume party dressed up like a bunny and no one else was in a costume? That One. That was me. Awkard? Not for me. No sirrreee. I celebrate Halloween and Merry Christmas without awkwardness or giving a hoot about who’s with me. Everyone has heard about the Monster Palooza I was going to go and everyone knew that I was going to YABA DABA DO like Fred Flintstone at the end of the shift. Comes hell or high water, my a$$ was out of there and en route to the Monster Palooza.
Then the wind picked up after 2 and started to freeze all the bones- mine! All 206 bones, not just one. Then coughing and sneezing surrounded me for 12 hours. Then the soft whispers began to float like flurries, “is beginning to snow in_____. Shhhh, don’t tell her,” they said. They were huddling around the coffee like Dak Prescott right before he opened a new one to the Kansas City Chiefs (because we all know that’s coming). Who? Rayne Dakota Prescott! The best quarterback on this planet. That’s who! By Yaba Daba Do time, I was having a scratchy throat, post nasal drainage, low grade temp, no costume, and !@#$%^&* snow!
I told everyone, I’m going straight to bed. “Yeah, right, there is no way, you are going to bed when there’s a monster Palooza in the mountains somewhere.” What mountains? They didn’t believe me, and I’m sicker than a dog.
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